May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize