he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All I want is dick and wine.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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