ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
