That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
