then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize