am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
