how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
