I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He told me they were just razor bumps!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
