i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
