You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
