Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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