3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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