Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
