During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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