Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
