I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
