party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
