does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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