somebody snuck up and got me drunk
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
