Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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