Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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