ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize