Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Randomize
