Do you still have your period?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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