things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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