it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
