what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
