Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Randomize
