Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Randomize
