she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
