I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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