It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
