For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
