New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
MIDGETS
????
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
