watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
