is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
