For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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