So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
