Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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