Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
