CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
