Already got asked if we're dating
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
