i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
