I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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