Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
