That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize