dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
