how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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