Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't turn off my feet"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I believe in your delicious
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
