you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
