Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
