Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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