Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
