i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
