just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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