well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
