he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
