The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
